Speaking Without Words

There is a hypothesis called the 7-38-55 rule. When we speak, only 7% of our emotions are actually revealed in what we say, 38% of our intentions shine through the tone of our voice and 55% stem from visual cues such as body language and facial expressions. The bottom line: what we say does not convey a message- its how we saying it that reveals our true intentions.

If this is true then we need to analyze how we communicate and what is the true message that we are sending forth into the world. It is inevitable that we communicate to each other to get through this thing called…life

It is also true that words have limitations: There are numerous areas where nonverbal communication is more effective than verbal.  If what we say with our tone and body language tells the tale of how we really feel  (nonverbal behaviors cannot be controlled as easily as spoken words) then we need to be more mindful of the messages we are sending.

The essence of my post here is for us to all evaluate and be more mindful of how we communicate outside of what we say.

As adults, responsibility is a word that becomes us. We are responsible for our own actions and have to take ownership of everything that befalls us.

Ruling our own destiny is a topic of much debate. ( Are we really responsible for things that happen to us or is everything a question of fate? How much control do we have of our own destinies? If we are inherently good then why do bad things happen to good people? If karma supposed to work in my favor then why am I suffering?)

These are some of the questions that face us as we make our way through the world.

The lessons to learn is to be always true to ourselves through our actions, remembering that we are all more transparent and vulnerable than we think we are.

To be safe, let us all strive to say what we mean and mean what we say.

I write

When words flow
From my minds eye
Itch at my fingertips
I write

When I am moved
or I cringe
to justify my existence
or give hope
I write

With Lessons learned
Things I hope to learn
Want to teach
Need to reveal
I write

In the still of the morning
I write

To fight back tears
Reveal emotions
That my tongue cannot tell
To Spell instead of speak
I write


5 thoughts on “Speaking Without Words

  1. Oh Kevin – you just keep on writing. I really admire the discipline of regular blogging. I do. I’ve spent the past 4 months in Europe, having left NY with the intention to blog about every adventure. I gathered so much material (mostly photos of course) and haven’t put in a single entry. Mostly from fear of not posting something interesting enough or presenting it perfectly enough…which is just bullocks, because now it’s been 4 months and I see that didn’t matter, I’ve simply wasted time.

    Do you think it’s okay to post retrospectively?

    Any way – that was a long digression. Thanks for this one – it rings particularly true for me now as I find myself betwixt worlds in a somewhat tumultuous paradigm shift and fighting to cover up my anxiety. I think I’m good at hiding with words and a couple of fake BL cues – but really, that 55% is true buddy!

    Yes though, in meaning what we say – it’s important to act with kindness and truth, and to use the tests of life as opportunities to purify our intentions. I will add that it is equally important I think,
    to seek this in others also. Not everyone is happy to embrace TRUTH.

    keep on honey, you’re doing real good.

  2. Berette! I can’t wait to read the spoils of your European trek! Your story is one that MUST be told! Start from day one and don’t skip
    any details!

  3. I love this post! If I had it my way, I’d never talk and use non verbal communication all the time. I’d get into less trouble.. I think.

  4. i really enjoyed reading this one! for someone like myself, who is horrible with words, i tend to be alot more expressive with my tone and facial expressions. this is the main reason why i think so much is lost in writing, particularly through text.

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